Listening is Love: How True Leadership Starts with Listening
How True Leadership Starts with Listening
When I first started leading, I thought leadership meant making decisions and inspiring people.
And yes, those are part of it. But over the years, I learned something far more powerful: true leadership begins with listening.
Listening is more than hearing words.
It’s creating space where someone feels safe, valued, and even loved. In leadership coaching, we talk about four levels of listening — and mastering them has changed not only how I coach but how I live.
Level 1: Listening To
This is where most of us start. We listen just enough to respond. We hear the words, but we’re often thinking about what we’ll say next.
Level 2: Listening For
Now we go deeper. We listen for meaning — what’s underneath the words. What matters most to the other person? What are they trying to express?
Level 3: Listening With
This is listening with our whole selves. Watching body language. Hearing the emotions behind the words. Paying attention to what isn’t being said.
Level 4: Listening In
This is where coaching becomes sacred. As Christian leaders, we have the Holy Spirit within us. Listening in means tuning into what the Spirit is saying — to us and to the person we’re coaching.
Why Listening Matters
When people are truly listened to, they feel seen.
They find courage.
They experience transformation.
As leaders, listening well isn’t just a skill. It’s an act of love.
When we listen at all four levels, our teams thrive. Our families thrive. Our churches thrive.
Listening isn't just important — it’s leadership.
If you want to grow as a leader, start by becoming a better listener. It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give.